A Letter from Yourself About Your New Year’s Fitness Goal

No question, the most common new year’s resolution is to get back in shape or lose weight.  Gyms everywhere are packed at this time of year.  Many people with good intentions start their program but aren’t physically ready for it.  As a result, they end up having to see people like the physical therapists at SSOR to get them back on track.  So we’re going to have a little fun with this blog.  Here’s a letter from your body to you.  Some body parts even spoke up a little more than others, so watch out!
Dear Sir/Madam,
Thank you for finally getting me back in shape.  The last few years have been brutal because I’m lugging around more weight, I’m more inflexible, and even seemingly benign things make me hurt.  Shoot, you bent over to pick up a pen the other day and you groaned like it was a refrigerator.  So, I’m fired up you are trying to whip me back into shape, but sheesh, put on the brakes!!  You haven’t done so much as a sit-up in the last year and now you’re expecting me to CrossFit? Are you crazy? 
First of all, please go see a physical therapist and get me an assessment, preferably by the guys at SSOR.  Those guys are sharp and know how the body works head to toe.  If you would have done that in the first place, you would realize that my ankle has a restriction in dorsiflexion that won’t allow me to squat like you want me to.  As a result, my knee is hurting now.  All those “rice krispies” in my knee? Yep, those are degenerative changes from years of activity followed by years of inactivity and weight gain.  If you were a little lighter and hit the weights a little more regularly as well as stretched me from time to time, this wouldn’t be so bad.  Plus, all this jumping around now after not having done much is making my knees ache more often.  If you’re going to put me through this, at least give me some anti-inflammatories and an ice pack or two!
My low back is not happy either.  Your squat form is horrible and you sit all day on top of it.  Then you expect me to go for a run with these tight hip flexors and weak glutes?  No way!  Will you please get me some stretching exercises for my hip flexors and do a butt strengthening exercise or two? My butt sags too much after these last few years – I used to be firm!  I can’t be expected to lug you around with this weak butt! 
Now your middle spine is really upset.  You Facebook, Tweet, text, play X-Box and sit at a computer all day at work.  Then you go home after a full day of horrific posture and expect me to do overhead squats and military press at the gym.  Are you kidding?  Please, get a foam roll and roll on that to get my spine more mobile.  Maybe have those PT guys do some spinal manual therapy on it as well.  It shouldn’t hurt me that much to raise my arms overhead.
Oh boy, your shoulders are ticked off too.  Because of my poor spine mobility and because of your chest tightness and your weak scapular muscles and rotator cuff, my shoulders hurt all the time.  There used to be a time when we could lift boulders and not think twice. Now, washing your hair hurts and picking up your child is anguish.   Please, can you do an exercise other than bicep curls and bench press?  There are muscles in back you know.  How about a seated row once in a while or some retraction exercises?  I would be much happier if you did that.  I mean, you don’t just cut the front lawn and make it look pretty while leaving the backyard a mess do you?  I didn’t think so.  Please treat me the same. 
Last but certainly not least, your neck is upset as well.  Because of your terrible posture, stiff spine, and weak shoulder muscles coupled with your awful squat form, my lower neck is hurting like crazy.  Plus, all of those lateral and front raises are yanking on my nerve roots in an already degenerative spine.  I beg you, get my posture and mobility squared away and I’ll be a lot happier. 
I don’t want to sound like I’m whining or complaining about having to work out again.  This is great news!  However, I’m just not ready and need to be more physically prepared for training.  I don’t want to ache everywhere all the time, but this is just too much, too soon.  Give me some help here and I’ll happily get back in shape for you. 
Yours truly,
Your out-of-shape but excited to get back in shape body
Hope you had fun with this one.  Give us a call if your knees, back, or shoulders are ticked off at you!